Illinois

Geez, what a boring state.  It seems to be all Springfields and Centervilles and Oaklands and This Park and That Grove.  Another common theme is just hijacking a name from someplace else: Columbia, Mt. Vernon, Princeton, Charleston, Paris, Monticello, Lexington, Trenton, Troy …

And some areas of the state just seem to show a determined lack of originality.  So, you’ve got a city named Round Lake, huh?  Well, why not add Round Lake Park, Round Lake Beach, and Round Lake Heights right next to it?  Think you’re already all set with Rockford?  Not so fast.  You’ve got Rockton, Rock Grove, and Rock City to add to the mix too.

It is a big state, though.  So, with a little elbow grease, here’s what I was able to come up with ...

10. Muddy

Geez, couldn’t this at least have been Muddy Grove?  Muddy Park?  Muddy Heights?  Muddy Landing?

This town of less than 100 is on the Saline River, in the southern part of the state.  It was originally built to house workers – mostly Slovakian immigrants – in a local coal mine.

Muddy’s main claim to fame is once having the smallest post office in the U.S.  A larger one was built in 2002, but the old one is still there.  The town’s also got an old Russian Orthodox church and an historic coal tipple (whatever the heck that is).

Small, old & obsolete

9. Oblong

Formerly called Rectilinear, the town’s name was changed purely for orthographic reasons.

Seriously, as far as I can tell, the town fathers platted this place on a little piece of rectangular prairie.  Continuing in that tradition, my Google search results show plenty of links to “oblong real estate.”  I also found a store called Oblong Auto Parts, as well as the Oblong Children’s Christian Home.  There is also an Oblong High School, whose teams are called the Oblong Panthers.

None of these, however, can compete with a famous headline, "Oblong Man Marries Normal Woman," that appeared in a local newspaper about 40 years ago.  (Normal is in the middle of the state, right atop Bloomington - see below.)

Go Oblong Panthers!

8. Grand Detour

Not sure what’s so exciting about a detour, but hey, who am I to judge?

Turns out “grand detour” is basically French for “big bend.”  Some early French traders and trappers named the location for a big cinch in the Rock River where they built a trading post.

Grand Detour is famous as the place where John Deere invented the steel plow, “the plow that broke the plains.”  The John Deere Historic Site includes an archaeological site, an exhibit hall, a blacksmith shop, Deere’s home and – of course – a GIFT SHOP!

Mr. Deere moved on (to Moline), so Grand Detour’s pretty sedate these days.  The town of 400-some people is in the northwest part of the state.

Available at the GIFT SHOP!

7. Humm Wye

“Why hum?”  “Why not?”  “Because it annoys the hell out of me.  It’s like one step above whistling.”  “Alright, fine.  Whatever.  I’ll stop”

As far as I can tell, a family named Humm lived along a Y in the road here.  We’re back down south for this one, practically across the Ohio River from Kentucky.  And that’s about all I can find out about Humm Wye.

6. Aroma Park

Hmm, they don’t say what aroma exactly …  I’m hoping it’s pizza.

According to Edward Callary’s Place Names of Illinois (University of Illinois Press, 2008), the town was:

founded in 1852 by Alvin and Slocum Wilber, who created the word Aroma by playing on the name of their friend and associate James L. Romer. Reportedly, possible confusion between Aroma and Aurora led to changing the name to Waldron in 1872. It was changed back to Aroma, and the word Park was added about 1915.

An unknown Internet denizen (“Moongrrl”) who lives there tells us:

In the summer, there's the sweet, cloying scent of corn pollen mixed with black dirt, freshly cut grass, and warm, stagnant water when the Kankakee is low. All year, it smells of car exhaust, both gas and diesel, plus greasy food from the local restaurant. Depending on the direction of the wind, it used to smell of pig manure, but not anymore (low pork prices drove the small farmers out of business in the late 1990's).

I think I prefer pizza.

It’s south of Chicago, at the intersection of the Kankakee and Iroquois rivers.  It’s got about 800 people, an elementary school, a fire department, and lots and lots of corn fields.

Did I mention the corn fields?

5. Downers Grove *

The town fathers kicked around “Bummerville,” “Bad Scene,” “Unpleasant Situation,” and “Depressing Experience,” but seeing as this was Illinois, they felt they just had to get “grove” in there somehow.

Yup, you guessed it.  This place was founded by some guy named Downer.  They’re very proud of their lack of an apostrophe, by the way.  “Apostrophe-free since 1873” is the unofficial motto. 

This depressing, apostrophe-free place just so happens to be a major metropolis.  I’m talking almost 50,000 people, plus corporate headquarters for such companies as Sara Lee, FTD, Pepperidge Farm, and Abercrombie & Kent (yes, Abercrombie & Kent – it’s a travel agency).  Of the 23 “notable people” listed on Wikipedia, I’ve actually heard of three of them: "wrestler" Randy Savage, comedian Emo Phillips, and “actress” Denise Richards. 

And nothing says “major metropolis” 
like your name on a water tower

4. Mooseheart

Remember this movie?  You know, with Mel Gibson?  The one about William Wallace or Wallace Williams or whatever his name was?  You know, the guy who led our rebellion against George III?  He painted his face red, white, and blue, remember?

Actually, that explanation makes a lot more sense than how Mooseheart actually did get its name.  Turns out the Loyal Order of the Moose have a children’s home here.  Some local congressman, who just so happened to be a member of the group’s Supreme Council, got to name it.

Crazy name aside, it actually sounds like a wonderful place.  There was even a movie about it, City of Children. 

It’s just down the road from Downer’s Grove, by the way.  Almost forgot …  Illinois also includes a Buffalo Hart.

You knew this was coming, didn’t you?

3. Lowpoint

Am I detecting a theme here?  Amidst all those Pleasant Groves and Merrywoods and Sunny Glades, do you think there might be a subtle dark undercurrent to contemporary Illinoisan life?  Downers Grove, Lowpoint.  Downs and Lost Nation are out there too.  I’m just sayin’ …

According to an article in a local paper (thanks Facebook!), I learned that the town happened to be on the lowest point on an early stagecoach line.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything on how such a name might subtly affect the subsequent local inhabitants’ outlook on life … though you know it’s gotta take a toll.

It’s in the middle of the state, near Peoria.  Using Google Maps, I can spot a post office, a radio station, a junkyard, a bunch of houses, and not much else.

Hmm, if I didn't know better,

I'd swear we were in Aroma Park

2. Bigfoot

I definitely would have thought I’d find this one in Washington State.  Or maybe Oregon or Alaska or northern California.  Definitely not Illinois.

Turns out Bigfoot was a guy, a Native American guy – in particular, a chief of the Potawatomi.  A couple of interesting facts about Bigfoot the town:

• It’s actually half in Illinois and half in Wisconsin.
• Most people call it Bigfoot Prairie

And they say no remains have ever been found?!?!

1. Preemption

I think this was the one vocabulary word I missed on the SAT. 

According to Callary (see above), the name stems from "the preemption laws passed by the U.S. Congress that gave squatters the right to 'enter' (register) their land with the government and purchase it later when the tract became legally available for sale.  The preemption laws protected settlers from claim jumpers and from having to bid against speculators at open auction."  Now, use it in a sentence!

Preemption is in the northwest part of the state, at the intersection of 67 and 17.  It looks like we’ve got a post office, a barber shop, Hammond’s Cycle Works, and three additional streets, 171^st, 266^th, and 268^th.

I’m a total sucker for old train stuff

Honorable Mention:

• B-o-r-i-n-g – Junction, Stone, Rock, Big Rock, Flatville, Farmerville, South Standard, La Place, The Burg
• A bad case of the cities - Farmer City, Valley City, Clay City, Illinois City, North City, West City, Standard City, Frog City
• Short & sweet – Perks, Birds, Wing, Golf, Polo, Mode, Time
• Just a little out of place – there are so many of these, it ain’t funny
• Just a little off color – Effingham (“Hey Doris, where’d you put the effing ham?  Easter’s tomorrow!”), Woody
• Numerically oriented – Third Lake, Eight Mile Prairie, First Pommier (French for “apple tree”), Half Day
• Native American mouthfuls – Pecatonica, Oquawka, Oskaloosa, Kahokia, Kankakee, Kaskaskia, Kickapoo, Aptakisic
• Atypical adjectives – Crisp, Normal
• Abnormal nouns – Justice (world's largest stained glass window), Energy, Media, Metropolis (lots of Superman stuff), Bureau, Kinsman, Sandwich, Moonshine, Fishhook, Passport, Gays, Disco
• Unconventional verbs – Roots, Boos
• Fun to say – Iuka, Winkle, Boody, Matoon, Skokie, Keenlyville, Pinckneyville, Pankeyville, Mulkeytown, Vandalia, Dongola
• Just plain weird – Romeoville, Future City*, Prophetstown, Papertown, Teutopolis, Illiopolis, Fancy Prairie, Enchanted Forest, Bible Grove, Lively Grove, Garden of Eden, Cornland, Foosland, Sailor Springs, Bone Gap, Blue Mound, Cave in Rock, Chicago Lawn, Bigneck, Hooppole, Timewell, Carlock, Grand Chain, America, Little America, Space Valley, Pluto Center, Goofy Ridge, Pinkstaff, Roachtown, and - of course - Chicken Bristle
• I’d like to introduce you to – Ken Rock, Alan Dale, Carol Stream

* - author has visited

Idaho

Idaho has an interesting name origin story itself.  In fact, “Idaho” is an invented word. 

Turns out some mining lobbyist came up with it, claiming it meant “gem of the mountains” in Shoshone.  (The closest actual Indian word is idahee, which means “enemy” in Plains Apache.)   Ah well, just one more pig in the poke from K Street.)

10. Cabinet

This odd one comes from the nearby Cabinet Mountains.  Right then.  Case settled.  On to #9 …

What?  Oh, you’re wondering why the mountains were named that?  Well, aren’t we particular today?  If you insist …

According to the U.S. government, the name comes from “early French explorers who observed that the mountains resembled a series of closets or cabinets.”  Um, if you say so, Uncle Sam …  Kind of sounds like that old John Denver song, if you ask me.  You know, “Friends around the campfire, and everybody’s high …”

Couldn’t find much on Cabinet.  Except, of course, for all those DIY stores and contractors who want to help me “build the perfect kitchen” and assume I live in Boise. 

In fact, I couldn’t even find Cabinet on Google Maps, but only on Mapquest.  From the latter, it looks like it’s a handful of scattered houses and buildings along the Clark Fork River and the Montana Rail Link railroad.  There’s a nearby dam, fittingly named the Cabinet Gorge Dam.

I’m sorry, I just don’t see it

9. Headquarters

C’mon.  Headquarters of what?  The Trilateral Commission?  The Idaho State Police?  The Bildergbergers?  The Clearwater County Soil and Water Conservation District?  The Illuminati?  Smersh? 

Turns out Headquarters got its name because it was the center of logging operations for the Potlatch lumber mill, in the somewhat-nearby city of Lewiston.  The railroad’s gone now.  Subsequently, there’s not much left of Headquarters. 

This place looks pretty darn remote.  In fact, the first two “suggested searches” on Google for it are “headquarters idaho wolf attack” and “headquarters idaho wolf kill.”  Yikes!  Read all about it right here.
 

Headquarters in its heyday (ca. 1960)

8. Macks Inn

Right next to Rick’s Café, Moe’s Tavern, and Joe’s Garage …  (And that’s Casablanca, The Simpsons, and Frank Zappa for those of you out there not in the know.)

I’m afraid Macks Inn is no more.  Well, I mean, the Inn is still there.  But the village is no longer.  I mean, it’s still there too.  It just …  It just got renamed.  Mack’s Inn (the inn, not the town) is now in Island Park (the town).

According to Wikipedia, the renaming came about as follows:

The city was incorporated by owners of the many lodges and resorts along U.S. Route 20 in 1947, primarily to circumvent Idaho's liquor laws that prohibited the sale of liquor outside of city limits.  It is only 500 feet (150 m) wide in most locations and, at 33 miles (53 km), claims to have the longest "Main Street" in the world.

Macks Inn the town was started around Mack’s Inn the inn.  Both were founded by William H. (“Doc”) Mack, beginning in 1916.  The area’s located on a fork of the Snake River famous for its fishing.  It’s also pretty close to Yellowstone National Park. 

I’m not sure if Doc
started this one or not

7. Riddle

What do you get when you combine a tiny town, a mysterious ranch, two western states, and a very confused writer?  I don’t know.  I’m stumped.  Tell me!

I am so confused.  There is a town in Idaho called Riddle, in the southwest corner of the state.  The Wikipedia article for it says it’s named after the Riddle Ranch (which is in turn named after the Riddle family).  The Riddle Ranch, however, is in Oregon, about 700 miles away.  And just to top it all off, there is a business called Riddle Ranches, in Idaho, but an hour and a half away from Riddle.  I am so confused.

Does this mean I can’t trust Wikipedia?  Please tell me that’s not so.  I’m not sure what I would do without it.
 

Could be Idaho,
could be Oregon,
could be Peru for all I know

6. Chubbuck

This has got be some Native American word, right?  It probably means something cute and crazy, like “where the woodchuck makes love” or “plain of the ugly pumpkins” or “elk gizzard incident.”

Unfortunately, it’s named after a railroad conductor named Earl Chubbuck.  He loaded beets here. 

Today, Chubbuck’s a “suburb” of Pocatello.  It has about 14,000 people, along with its own elementary school, library, and SHOPPING MALL!  Yup, Chubbuck’s big time, folks.  We ain’t talkin’ about no Cabinet, Headquarters, or Riddle here, my friends. 
 

Chubbuck’s finest

5. Syringa

I don’t know about you, but this name just brings up visions of medical waste on New Jersey beaches, or perhaps a park where junkies hang out in The Bronx.  Definitely not the beautiful wide open spaces of Idaho.

Wouldn’t you know …  It’s the Idaho state flower.  Also, the “g” is hard.

Syringa’s on the Middle Fork of the Clearwater River, in the Clearwater National Forest.  The two businesses I could identify in town – Riverdance Lodge and Lewis Clark Trail Cabins – both cater to the tourist trade.  Looks like a beautiful area.
 

Philadelphus lewisii

4. Cocolalla

Native American?  Spanish?  Baby talk?  Very poor spelling of Coca-Cola?

Well, it turns out it is Native American.  It’s Coeur d'Alene Salish for either “deep water” or “very cold.”  Or, perhaps – and this is only my theory – “very cold, very deep water.” 

The town is named after a lake, and is located at the north end of it.  Looks like we’ve got a post office, a church, an RV park, a cemetery, a little light manufacturing, and someplace called “Wolf People.”  Thank you, Google Maps.
 

Man, those are …
I mean, that is a big one

3. Mud Lake

Few know it, but “Mud Lake” was the working title of Tchaikovsky’s balletic masterpiece.  Think frogs instead of swans.

Would you believe there are no less than 10 mud lakes in Idaho?  Ours is in Jefferson County, and is the namesake of our little metropolis of 400.  The closest real place is Idaho Falls. 

The very helpful site scoutme.com tells me its – when I google “mud lake idaho” – that there are “thousands of things to do near Mud Lake from places of interest to outdoor recreation to sightseeing and tours to arts and culture.”  Imagine my surprise when I clicked on the link and got “no results found.” 
 

Watch your step!

2. Culdesac

How nice to see a developer call a spade a spade for once.  No The Villages at Cheshire Glen.  Skip Olde Hamptonwicke.  The heck with Chumley Heath Crossing.  Just plain ol’ Culdesac.  I love it!

From what I can tell, Culdesac was the end of the line for a local little railroad that made its way out here from Lewiston.  There was also a historic mission here (to the Nez Perce).

Today, we’re talking about 400 people.  One of the main drags in Culdesac appears to be called Culdesac Ave. (by the way, it is not).
 

And just in case you couldn’t read it:

In 1863 this area was a “shebeen” (outlaw headquarters) and murder and robbery of travelers were common place. This valley was on the main and original Nez Perce Trail leading into Montana through Elk City. Homesteaders moved into the fertile valley and by 1900 two towns were growing. One called Culdesac located at the end of the railroad terminal and the other at the east end of the valley called Mellen. The citizens of both towns applied for a post office under the one name of Cul-de-sac. The post office was granted, but the department suggested the people adopt the name Magnolia. This stood until through a citizens petition the post office was renamed Culdesac. In 1903 the towns consolidated and adopted the name Culdesac. With a population of 400 the town grew rapidly, boasting all of the businesses of a larger town. A number of fires over the years burned out complete town blocks and greatly damaged growth. However, a school, businesses and homes have been re-built, and farming is now the chief industry.

1. Magic City / Atomic City

It was just too hard to pick one of these for the grand prize.  So, like any event that involves kids younger than high school these days, everyone’s a winner!

Not completely sure what the magic is in Magic City.  It’s one of those barely there kind of places.  There is a Magic Reservoir though.  And that, in turn, was created by the Magic Dam.  I’m assuming the water it holds is magic water, which makes magic waves along the magic shoreline, where magic fishermen cast their magic lines for magic fish.

I guess we all know what the magic is in Atomic City.  That would be radioactivity!  Rads and rads of it.  Atomic City is right next to the Idaho National Laboratory, formerly the much-scarier National Reactor Testing Station.  Great description of the town on Wikipedia:

There is one store and one bar in Atomic City; the store no longer sells gasoline, due to new laws pertaining to its underground gas tanks.  Most of the people who were raised in the town have now passed on, and many of the current residents are retired.  There is an RV park on the south end of town with full hook-ups, and stock car races are held in the summer.

I guess that Wikipedia article
may be a little out of date
(And who are those guys anyway?)

Honorable Mention:

• Some more cities – Malad (French for “sick” or “ill”) City, Butte City, Sugar City, Moose City, Thunder Mountain City
• B-o-r-i-n-g – American Falls, Oldtown, Mt. Idaho, Idaho City
• Short & sweet – Pearl, Paul, Roy, Henry, Pine, Bear, Bridge, Bliss, Bench, Bone, Stone, Felt, Naf
• Just a little out of place – Dixie, Atlanta, Harvard, Princeton, Naples, Moscow (home of the University of Idaho), Paris
• Numerically oriented – Twin Falls, Twin Groves, Three Fork
• Native American mouthfuls – Kootenai, Pocatello
• Atypical adjectives – Sweet, Gross, Tensed, Deary, Chilly
• Abnormal nouns – Squirrel, Sunbeam, Triumph, Soldier
• Unconventional verbs – Crouch, Coolin
• Fun to say – Tuttle, Dingle, Shoup, Rathdrum, Ponderay, Stites, Waha
• Just plain weird – Smelterville, White Bird, Fish Haven, Priest River, Warm River, Warm Lake, King Hill, Harpster, Chilco, Cold House, Black Cloud, Good Grief, Slickpoo, Beer Bottle Crossing (look, there goes one now!), Dickshooter
• Ghost towns – Yellow Jacket, Hump Town, Stibnite, Czizek

Hawaii

I’ve actually got a bunch of relatives here, and have been plenty of times myself.  So, this stuff never sounds quite as weird to me as it does to everyone else.

To tell you the truth, they all just sound like really bad Scrabble racks to me.  Ah well, here goes …

10. Honouliuli

Little Johnny had no trouble with Montpelier and Tallahassee.  Who would have thought he’d bow out of the spelling bee at Honolulu?

Just to make things interesting , Honouliuli is actually right next to Honolulu.  The name means something along the lines of “blue harbor” or “dark bay.”  “Honolulu” itself means “sheltered bay.”

Honouliuli was the site of an internment camp during WWII.  There’s not much there today except for a wastewater treatment plant.

And tourists just love

waste water treatment plants

9. Kealakekua *

I swear this one has more syllables than it does letters.  If that’s possible.  It means “the god’s pathway,” from an imprint in a cliff that a god supposedly slid down on.

Kealakekua Bay is where Captain Cook was killed.  The bay is actually on the other side of the town of Captain Cook from Kealakekua.  They’re all on the Big Island, just down the coast from Kona.

Today, Kealakekua is home to 1,600 people and a hospital.  The park on Kealakekua Bay is famous for snorkeling and kayaking.

I know Kealakekua personally from the song “My Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua,” a Hawaiian music standard.  I grew up with Hawaiian music playing constantly on my Dad’s stereo.  When my wife and I honeymooned there, she was amazed that I knew the lyrics to all the songs, from "Aloha Oe" to "Tiny Bubbles."

I can hear it now

8. Laupahoehoe *

All of these places seem to stop at 10 letters.  But this one …  This one goes to 11!

Laupahoehoe means “smooth lava flat.”  You may be familiar with pahoehoe, the smooth, ropy lava, as well as aa, the rough, jagged kind.  The latter makes a great (and completely legal) Scrabble word, by the way.

Twenty-four students and teachers were killed here by a tidal wave in 1946.  Today, the town of not quite 600 people has a train museum, a beautiful park, and a music festival.  It’s on the northeast shore of the Big Island.  It has its own song, “The Boy from Laupahoehoe.”  But, then again, doesn't every town in Hawaii?

Very large tourists,

Laupahoehoe Point

7. Ulupalakua

Why do I feel like I’m in Finland? 

Ulupalakua is on the slopes of Haleakala, the enormous volcano on Maui.  It includes a ranch, winery, nursery, and school.

The name means “breadfruit ripening on the backs of carriers.”  Catchy, no?

Would you believe this place has its own song as well?  I couldn’t pass up sharing these lyrics:

Famous
Is `Ulupalakua
The pangs of the cold evening air
The home of the cowboys

My lei is an adornment
Of `Ulupalakua
The sweet scent of ginger is
Truly beautiful

Tell the refrain
Of `Ulupalakua
The pangs of the cold evening air
The home of the cowboy

Like the song says

6. Aiea *

Consonants?  We don’t need no stinkin’ consonants.

Not to be confused with the Association of International Education Administrators, the Association of Irish Energy Agencies, or the Arizona Indian Education Association (none of which I made up!) …  This town of 9000 is just on the other side of Pearl Harbor from Honolulu. 

It’s named after a type of native holly, Ilex anomola.  If my Latin is still up to snuff, I think that means “anomalous holly.”  Catchy, no?

Aiea is famous for its bowling alley

(I kid you not)

5. Kuliouou

I’d like to buy a consonant.

This one means “sounding knee,” from a native drum that was somehow or other attached to one’s knee.  (Don’t ask – haven’t a clue).

It’s a suburb of Honolulu, and features a great trail along the ridge overlooking the town, as well as one up the valley.  There are actually a surprising number of good hikes in the mountains right above Honolulu.   Just make sure you take plenty of water – and, er, some consonants – with you.

4. Kokomo

Whoa!  I think we took a wrong turn comin’ outta that tiki bar, Mabel.

Well, here’s another place with its own song.  Unfortunately, the Beach Boys seem to be singing about some place in the Caribbean.  They’re definitely not singing about the city in Indiana, I know that much.

Kokomo’s a real place in Hawaii, though.  It’s along the eastern Kauai coast.  Doesn’t look like there’s a lot there however.

Almost forgot …  It means “tree entering.”  “Tree entering?”   Yup, “tree entering.” 

Hmm, I think we got

the wrong Kokomo here

3. Nonopapa

Nonopapa is on the island of Niihau.  The "town" is little more than a tide station however.

Hawaii also features a Papa.  That one means “forbidden.”  So, I guess “Nonopapa” means “definitely not forbidden.”  Actually, it means “invalid.”  Just as weird, if not weirder, if you ask me.

A quick search of “nonopapa” on the Google, gives us a Louis Armstrong song, some Japanese sites, and a couple of cute kid videos on YouTube.

Beautiful Pebbles from Nonopapa, Niihau Mesh Hat

£12.30 on Zazzle

2. Haiku

We knew this was going to happen, didn’t we?

Haiku is on the north shore of Maui.  Population (including neighboring Pauwela): about 8,000.

This one means either “sharp break” or “speak abruptly.”  Take your pick.

And here’s my attempt at a little haiku myself:

Sports Illustrated

Photo shoot in old Haiku

Booty in jungle

1. Spreckelsville *

Man, how did this one get here?  And what’s a spreckel anyway?

Well, it turns out it’s a last name.  Spreckelsville was named after sugar baron Claus Spreckels. 

Claus built the largest sugar mill in the world here in 1880.  Today, it’s got about 400 people.   It’s on the north shore of Maui, one of the first towns on the road to Hana. 

Herr Spreckels

(looking rather like another

Claus I happen to know)

* - author has visited

Georgia

The Peach State.  The Empire State of the South.  Birthplace of Jimmy Carter, Martin Luther King, and Josef Stalin.  The first Christian nation, famous for its Black Sea resorts, towering mountains, and ...  Whoa, think I got the wrong Georgia there.

Okay, I think I've got it all straightened out now.  That's better ...


10. Industrial City of Gordon, Murray and Whitfield Counties Catchy, ain’t it?  What do you think they actually call it?  Industrial?  Tricounty?  ICGMWC?  Murgorfield?  Gormurwhit?

If you don’t count El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula, ICGMWC is probably the longest town name in the whole U.S.  Unfortunately, though, it’s just Industrial City these days.  And those are a dime a dozen (well, at least a dime a couple).

Whatever it gets called, though, it doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of industry – or much of anything else for that matter.  In fact, I couldn’t even find it on Google Maps.  According to MapQuest, it’s in the northwest of the state – right next to Angelville, Soapstick, and Crane Eater.

Probably not the Industrial City

we were looking for

9. Dacula The place to be on Halloween the next time you catch yourself in the northwest Atlanta metropolitan area.

“Dacula” is actually a combination of letters from Decatur (a nearby town) and Atlanta.  I’m not too good at anagrams, but here are some additional possibilities:

• Tarantula Cadet
• Caudal Tater Ant
• Actuate Land Rat
• Actual Trade Tan
• Taut Adrenal Cat

No, no, you’re quite welcome.  Just name a library or something after me.  

According to Wikipedia, “The city of Dacula has a storied and colorful history dating back to a triple homicide in 1910.”  Nothing quite as colorful as a triple homicide, I always say.  Today, Dacula’s just more boring suburban Atlanta sprawl.

By the way, it’s pronounced daCULa.  

Not every town in Georgia has a 

yin-yang symbol on their town seal

8. Eldorendo “You know, that place that’s got all that gold.”  “El de something, right?”  “Yeah.  Was it Eldehooroo?”  “Nah. It’s something like  Eldoroodoo.”  “You’s both wrong.  I think it’s Eldorildo.”

Eldorendo was named after its first postmistress, Eldorendo Virginia Higgs Brown.  Where that came from is beyond me.

The description of Eldorendo from Wikipedia is so priceless I just had to throw it in here in toto:

Eldorendo is generally located on U.S. Route 27 and Georgia State Route 1 about halfway between the cities of Colquitt and Bainbridge. Some of the major roads in the Eldorendo area are Old Eldorendo Road, Brinson Airbase Road, Donaldson Road and Church Street. The majority of the citizens in the Eldorendo area are of the Christian faith and attend Eldorendo Baptist Church or nearby Bethel Baptist Church. Due to Eldorendo being unincorporated, it has no formally recognized government or city council or any public utilities system. Even though Eldorendo is a small community, it is covered by three zip codes: 39825, Brinson; 39817, Bainbridge; and 39837, Colquitt. A post office located in Eldorendo was closed in the late 1960s due to lack of use and improved road development allowing access to the larger towns in the surrounding area. Since its development Eldorendo has had a small economy, most recently consisting of: the Eldorendo Mall (aka Lee's Grocery), Grubb's General Store (both were in existence from about 1987-1992), Joe's Bait and Tackle, and the Decatur County Fence Company run by Archie Smith. Currently two businesses are located in Eldorendo: a used car lot named Eldorendo Auto Sales owned and operated by Jackie Grubbs, and a branch of Carolina Carports.

7. Thunderbolt * Probably my favorite James Bond movie.  It’s the one with Ursula Andrews in it, right?  

Man, you’d have to be a pretty serious fan to name a town after it though.  I’m not sure even I could do that.

The name actually comes from a “lightning strike that created a freshwater spring,” according to the town’s website.  It was previously named “Warsaw.”  Thuderbolt’s famous for seafood, and is also the home of Savannah State University.

Never been there, 

but with a name like that,

you know it’s gonna be good

6. 1) Grovania / 2) Flovilla / 3) Frolona Match the fictional country with the movie it appeared in: a) Duck Soup, b) The Great Dictator, 3) The Mouse That Roared.  Answers below.

All of these are teeny tiny places.  Two are in the center of the state and one (Frolona) is near the Alabama border, west of Atlanta.  Not much to say about any of them.  Flovilla is in Butts County, though.  [Snicker, snicker.]

Uh, I dunno … how about 1) b, 2) d, 3) 42, and 4) none of the above?

The old (and very photogenic)

Ellis Grocery, Grovania, GA

5. Attapulgus Now, there’s an attractive name.  You can take your Garden Groves and your Mount Pleasants.  Attapulgus – that’s where I want to live.

Please tell me this is an Indian name.  Maybe one that means “garden grove” or “pleasant mountain.”  And indeed it is!  An Indian name, that is.  It means “dogwood grove.”  

It’s also the source of the word “attapulgite,” a form of fuller’s earth.  The clay was named after the town, where it’s particularly abundant.  

Attapulgus is home to not quite 500 people.  It’s near Eldorendo, in the very southwest part of the state. 

Pleasant Grove?

They changed it from Pleasant Grove?

You have got to be kidding me.

4. Enigma I haven’t a clue where this one came from.  It’s a complete mystery.  A conundrum.  Totally baffling.  A stumper, a teaser, a tough nut to crack.  

Quite seriously, I couldn’t find anything on this one.  How totally fitting.  I do know it was originally called “Gunn and Weston,” and would have been called “Lax” except that that one was already taken (see “Honorable Mention,” below).  

Once again, the Wikipedia entry is such a gem, I just had to reprint it right here (this is just for Enigma’s “Economy,” BTW):

Most citizens of Enigma commute to neighboring towns to work and shop. The town's economy is based primarily on agriculture. The Tree Trunk Restaurant (owned by Bobby Rowan former senator of Georgia) is its only restaurant, and it has 3 gas stations - the Quick Stop #2 (#1 is in Brookfield) and the Enigma Market (which is also a mini grocery store) and the Express It, and all three are located on Highway 82. Also located on Highway 82 is B&G Heating and Cooling, a small business run by Bob Miley and other members of the Miley family, which specializes in repairing and installing air conditioning units, Also, REPASCO, a small business owned and operated by Linda Wiley specializing in restaurant equipment sales, parts, and repair service, The Post Office, Glass Unlimited, Volunteer Fire Department, City Hall, the salon (Freida's Beauty Barn), and the Bank of Alapaha are all located on Main Street. Just off of Main Street is the factory Geo Tex, LLC Plant #2 where screening is made. There is also Berrien Peanut Company two and a half miles outside of Enigma and there was once a skating rink about a mile from Berrien Peanut Company. There are other buildings on Main Street and Highway 82, but they are currently vacant.

Not totally sure this is stocked at any

 of Enigma’s many gas stations though

3. Between You’re not going to believe this, but Between is exactly right in the middle of two other cities (in particular, Atlanta and Athens).  Equidistant, I say.  Halfway.  Smack dab in the middle.  

Between has about 130 people.  It has its own website, which has a total of four pages and less than 100 words.  Other than that …

There is a novel out there of the same name, by Joshilyn Jackson.  Maybe her next work will be called Attapulgus.

Almost forgot …  There is also a Midway, GA.

See! You thought I 

made it up, didn’t you?

2. Nankipooh I don’t think it would be possible to think of a less likely Gilbert & Sullivan character to name a town after.  I guess it does beat Yum Yum though.

Nankipooh is basically a suburb of Columbus GA.  It’s home of the Nankipooh Bar B Que.  Couldn’t find any reviews of that place online, but with a name like that …

Not exactly sure why anyone would

 want to name a town after this 

guy (and, yes, Nankipooh was a guy)

1. Ty Ty Unfortunately, Cobb Cobb was already taken.  (And for those of you who aren’t as crazy about baseball as l am, well … I … just … never you mind.)

“Ty Ty” comes from an Indian name for the ironwood and buckwheat trees.  One was the black titi, and the other the white titi.  Please don’t ask which was which.

The town’s got about 700 people and is in the very southern part of the state.  “Famous natives” include Darby Cottle Veazey and Jim “Big Chief” Wetherington.  

So what is Darby Cottle Veazy,

chopped liver?

Honorable Mention:

• B-o-r-i-n-g – Centerville, Midway*, New Town, South Georgia Beach, New Georgia
• Short and Sweet – Wax, Hemp, Harp, Cork, Veal, Note, Horns, Swords, Sparks, Wrens*, Moons, Care, Youth, Matt, Jake, Clem, Ila, Ola, Lulu, Arp
• Just a little off color – Climax, Cumming
• Just a little out of place – Kansas, Texas, Waco, Fargo, Decatur (Waffle House Museum), Duluth*, Cleveland, Boston, Rome, Athens*, Egypt, Damascus, Arabi, Pretoria
• How did all those Yankees get down here? –  Jersey, Harlem, Brooklyn, Yonkers, Hoboken
• Numerically oriented – Double Branches, Double Run, Twin City, Five Forks
• Atypical adjectives – Hopeful, Jolly, Ideal, Mystic, Gratis, Gay, Lax, Stark, Newborn
• Unconventional verbs – Panhandle, Register, Fry, Sautee (Gourd Museum)
• Abnormal nouns – Relay, Flintstone, Crabapple, Coffee, Tiger, Haddock, Sandfly, Air Line, Fender, Magnet, The Rock, Recovery, Temperance, Benevolence, Experiment, Archery
• Native American mouthfuls – Tallapoosa, Centralhatchee, Chatoogaville, Eastanolee, Ohoopee, Pocataligo, Chickamauga*, Chatahoochee, Okefenokee
• Fun to say – Lumpkin, Ft. Oglethorpe
• Just plain weird – Needmore, Fairplay, Mayday, Ball Ground, Burning Bush, Dewy Rose, Sugar Hill, Cloudland, Social Circle, Lovejoy, Subligna, Burnt Fort, Deepstep, Rocky Face, Talking Rock, Rising Fawn, Hentown, Ducktown, Doctortown, Blichton, Pidcock, Philomath, Phinizy, Flippen, Ficklin, Billarp, Lumpkin, Sale City, North West Point, Stevens Pottery, Box Springs (if only it were near Mattress), Split Silk, Snapfinger, Shake Rag, Jot Em Down Store, Hopeulikit (after a dance hall), Po Biddy Crossroads
• Just plain weird, -ville division – Roosterville, Roopville, Riddleville, Boneville, Faceville
• I’d like you to meet – Lee Pope, Warner Robbins, Young Harris, Harriet Bluff, Ben Hill, Ray City, Sandy Cross, Santa Claus, Dasher, Barney
• What’s with all the logs? – Pine Log, Ivy Log, Cherrylog

* - author has visited